Books, Bokes, Boobs and DEATHMETAL \m/ (oo)\m/

Well today I rode my bike from Norwood to Cabridge (17-18 miles of deadly hills) to chill with dad at MIT. My grandfather (who will be turning 96 this december) hasn't been feeling good lately and if there is any chnage in the way he does things it instantly becomes a fore-shadower of his death to my family. I still am sick so I was surpirsed that I could do the intense ride, I stopped more often than I usually do but all-in-all I was fine. I've been reading my former Sophomore year English teacher's books lately "Losing my Faculties" and "It Takes a Worried Man," th eformer I finished last week in which he writes aout his first 8 or so years of teahcing, the latter his first book, is about his emotions and thoughts during his late-wife's chemotherapy. "Losing my Faculties" actually ends with him getting ready to teach at my school and today while I caught "the OH in Ohio" they used my high school as an establishing shot for one of the character's High Schools where they teach. It was a bizarre moment. This isn't the first time I've seen my school, a WB show about a kid going back to his freshman year, in Newton,MA in the 80s used my school for establishers too.

It's rough reading "It Takes a Worried Man," now because ultimately my junior year Mr. Halpin left y school an dI believe teaching when his wife died. Not only that I am (and this is no way similar to his situation) faced with losing yet another grandparent that I hardly knew. I felt that my grandmother died thinking I was a good-for-nothing little shit. My other grandfather died with me really having talked to him maybe a few times. Now I have this incredibly wise man with this great life who has lived with me for 5 years and who I really don't converse with. I mean, you go up to an old man you're related to and say, "Hey grandpa, tell me everything you've learned in life." It's fucking hard to do. I mean I've tried a few times, but he talks to you sort of like a retarded 7 year old. I asked him some in depth questions about The War, and he opened with, "Well there was this guy Hitler, see." and I'm sitting there trying not to be too sarcastic and snotty saying, "Yeah really, a guy named Hitler huh? Yeah I'm sure I've never heard the most infamous name in modern history." He did tell me that it is very important who you marry though. I don't know, life isn't the movies, Grandpa doesn't drop pearls of wisedom like a fortune cookie he just does his thing--and I'm a shitty self-absorbed pussy.

I'm downloading an absurd amount of musi people yousendit-ed me. And I just canceled an album I had d/led at 99% because i'm retarted. I'm not on my computer and these little speakers make a weird feedback thing go on in my ears. Listening to like grindy,noisy shit is not awesome with this effect.


I need to get laid...

Sick Boy

I'm sick and trying to recover for tomorrow's shindig at Ben's house. Today I had Nostalgiapaoolza and listened to Sepultura's "Roots" the Unrestrained.net Compilation CD and my old Band Strangled With A Halo's "Thus, I Never Existed..." Unrestrained.net was a music reviewing site that the aforementioned Ben and I started in 7th grade, which then changed focus and became defenestratedzine.com in 8th or so. Listening back on the old band, some of our songs were really good--the later stuff. And the part that I'll always regret was that I wrote the best shit after we recorded. You ever wonder why sometimes the moment you start getting good and really start making it a bit, everything falls apart?

Here's something I thought of, now, I've never been a drug user--never interested me--that and I was straight edge for 4 and a half years. But after reading that some kid up in Maine got arrest for having a bunch of plants I thought my opinion should be made public. Now I must admit some DJ on WBCN or WAAF I think said this like 5 years back or so, but I concur.

Whta they should do is make government-run Pharmacy-esque places. Where people can come in and buy any type of currently illegal drug. However their purchase are tracked and in the case of things like Heroin, amount they get becomes smaller and smaller. This gets rid of the street crime that comes along with dope dealing. Also you would make using no-longer illegal--these two things would probably decrease our prison population by 50-75% or more. I think I read that somewhere between 10-20% of the US population is behind bars. And it's due to our backwards thinking on drugs.

Hanged

Recovering from Monday night's introduction to Evan Williams, the shitty generic version of Jack Daniels--I laid low today. Not much happened, I downloaded the first four episodes of "Weeds'" second season. Some of you may be asking yourself,"Didn't the season kick off on Monday night?" Yeah but, that's how I roll. Good show, check it out if you can. THen tonight I watched this Sci-Fi Channel show "Who Wants to Be A Super Hero," what a LOLocaust this thing was. All these random kids dressed up as superheroes competeing for something that has to do with Stan Lee, I don't know if he's actually going to give them powers or if he's gonna make a comic book out of them, or maybe it's just an elaborate joke on his part. Great special effects on this one *rolls eyes at the speed of light*.

Caught an English film "Love + Hate." What the fuck are you lime rickeys doing over there? Basically this film makes it seem that there's only like 3 families in this city because everyone of them is somehow interconnected with the other one. But basically it's a Romeo and Juliet story where there's the bigoted white limey faggy kid, and the smokin' hot Pakistani girl--then there's the girl's kinda nuts Brother and she's with this slutty-hot girl who reminds me of this other girl I know. Slutty girl talks like she's speaking swahili with marbles in her mouth, half the time I was like, "Speak fucking English you Tea-Honkey."

But on a serious note, coming from a guy who's currently wooing an Indian girl. What the fuck?Pakistani and Indian people are the minorities you hate? Really? It's so random, it'd be like if I was like "Fuck this I'm sick and tired of Ecuadorians and Panamanians, god!" See that's your problem England, you need to mix--because let's face it, you're oe of the ugliest goram people on this Earth, *shudders thinking about British women* One funny scene is when after the limey fag's faggy racist bro beats up the Pakistani girl's father, the brother and his crew come after the Beeb-watching racist knuckleheads with baseball bats from--where? I didn't even know that you guys knew what baseball was. Sorry this is sounding like a Bwana post but it was on my mind.

LATER ON!

I guess an interrogation with a Natural Light Lamp is just not the same

Here's the deal, if you post comments on these entries and say that
"I'm a genius," "Hysterical," or whatever atleast 5 or 6 times, you get a plug on this site.

El Charulastra won my heart, and bought himself a link. That means just from massaging my ego he gets a .00000000873% growth in readership on his blog. These are the kind of numbers I can give you people.

Speaking of video games freezing on you just when you've done the imposible. I was playing ESPN's Baseball 2k5 or whatever the fuck it's called and I hit two, count 'em, TWO, grand slams with none other than the batmaster himself, David Ortiz in the WORLD SERIES and the fucking game froze, not after the first grand slam, not the second--BUT AS SOON AS I WON THE FUCKING GAME. KRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRUUUUUUUULLLLLLLLLLLGGGGGGGGGGGHHHH!!!!!!! It makes me want to slaughter the fuckin nerdy Asians who create this game and have a fever dream of masturbating on their corpses and watching even numbered episodes of Ellen Degeneres' sitcom.

Now some of you may be saying to yourselves,"It's just a game chum, what's the deal." FUCK YOU, YOU SWEATER-ON-SHOULDER-WEARING POLE SMOKER. I recently realized that I have an anger problem, not with things like traffic or relationships or money, or alcoholism--but only when it comes to video games. Just ask Bwana about how Madden '98 made me put my foot and fist throw my wall--and no not one of those pussy dry walls, I'm talking a wall that's insulated--one that keeps you from the outside. Then I fixed the fucker and it seems that Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas and 2kflagrant foul enducing faggol 5 are making me slowly crack it. The other day I smashed my fist in a fit of rage into a nubile, virile, virgin of territory of said wall and realized I was fractions of an inch from putting it into a nail. I told Brigitte this that day and she gave me one of those looks, FUCKING CHICK YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, WHO HITS A HOMER RUN OFF A CHANGEUP AROUND THE KNEES--WHO THE FUCK IS ERGAY FURCAL?!

In other news I was sent the wrong DVD, by some thrid party cat on Amazon,"Ultimate Edition Stargate" DVD but merely recieved the original DVD release with nada for Special Features.

However I did receive my copy of "Cannibal Women of the Avocado Jungle of Death," which is honestly one of the best satirical comedies of all time. I'M DEAD FUCKING SERIOUS. Buy it off some knucklehead for $3.47 it's totally worth every secondd an there's sweet bewbs in the beginning.

I really have nothing to say

But I'm sure all three of my readers are chomping at the bit for my next piece of gold. Here's a thought:

The fact that it cost me nearly $40 to fill my tank makes me want to run down Newbury Street headbutting shoppers until I concuss myself into a coma.

Helped Brigitte find a place here in boston, she cracks me up--she's like an uber hippy. Every once in awhile I'd be like, "There's a place in Hyde Park that has kfc, Taco bell and pizza hut in ONE these" And she'd try to sell me on, "You know they have these videos that investigate the kitchens in those places and it shows how disgusting they are." And I'd give her a blank stare and say, "That's the point." Or he'd say something like "You have a strong stomach 'cause you watch all those gore movies, maybe you should check out the videos of the inside of a slaughterhosue." and i would retort with "That's propaganda." "No it'snot." "yeah it is Brig, it is edited to aswage my opinion on a matter with not entirely true facts, and PETA is the largest group of shitheads outside of the GOP."

Fucking PETA, oh they make me so mad! How can you be against seeing eye dogs? Did you eat lead paint when you were akid. Fucking PETA, PETA is an organization entirely made up of white, suburban trust fund kids who don't understand that there are people out there dying and starving whilst they try to stop canaries being used in coal mines. The most LOLworthy thing is that they take so many animals off shelters' hands that they're killing them now. HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

If i was in the same room as the founder of PETA I would laugh at her furiously twilst I blopped her in the head with the Femur of a Giraffe. But then she'd send her dopey Hollywood goons, and Cambridgite hitmen after me.

I smell a new video game...

Quicky

Been hella busy. The other day I heard that the French and ourselves were forming some Peackekeeping coalition to stop the Hezbollah-Isreal conflict. Yeah the French help now, you baguette-eating shitheads. Darfur continues to happen yet this is where your support goes.

Back in High School former news Anchor for channel 4 and BHS parent Liz Walker came to my school with footage from darfur, she urged us to call upon our Congressional and Senatorial leaders to help get something done over there. We had open mics for questions so I went up:

Me: "Ya know it'd be great to send a ton of troops over there and just stop this, but we already have two wars going on in Iraq and Afghanistan, not to mention Peacekeepers in the former Yugoslavia, Haiti and other nations that you've probably forgotten about. But I do know of two places wher there's a bunch of troops just hanging around: Germany and France. See France has always said that 'They have this great connection with the Arab world,' and how 'They've been trading with them since the 1400s.' How about for the first time Germany and France and the rest of Western Europe give condemning us a break for a second or two and put their money where their mouth is? Britain can sit this one out, 'cause they've been working overtime with us."
Liz Walker:...

The truth is that if there is a genocide of some form going on, there's only one country that could save you : The U.S. of Fuckin' A. We have been part of the relief effort of countless acts of total Inhumanity (Holocaust, Cambodia, Bosnia and Kosovo) while Western Europe sits in their Castles and yells at us for being "Imperialist pigs." Cambridgians and other hippies alike never agree with me but, what the fuck do they know, nothing fuck them.

And I understand Germany, everyone gets real antsy when they have any Nationalism, they couldn't even have a good time uniting for their country when the World Cup was in Germany. I figure they're going to wait until everyone from that generation dies and then they can stop pretending to be French.

But the deal with this conflict is this:

France: Oh shit, the fucking zionist bagel-eating jews are destroy our meal tickets' country, we'll I guess we'll help those camel jovkey, towel headed brown bastards.
Some Guy: What about Darfur?
France: What waste valueable whites on darkies? :Stereotypical French Laugh: Now quickly let's not work.

The Fact is is that the French government and hell culture has been extremely biggoted for years. Just look at the headscarf ban, they just didn't want jews and muslims in their public schools.

This isn't to say that I wouldn't play a little "pickle-tickle" with Audrey Tatou, I'd just force her to say that The Wu-Tang Clan's "Enter the 36 Chambers" is a contemporary classic and that "Yentl" was a great film.

Now hate mail me away in the comments. I'm going to hang out with Geno and Carlo in Dorchester.

Love is Like a Heatwave

Been doing some house shopping getting the various wares necessary for the Phila House: Plates, Glasses, Silverware, furniture, etc. We went over to Ikea, it was nuckin' futs over there. A trillion people all lookin at furniture that's everywhere and there's like this path we all take (like cattle), however there are also shortcuts to different areas and restraunts too. It was intense. Never before have I seen so many people, so excited to be looking at a piece of furniture called Kyrikesfargesgagen.

What's in the news, oh yes Fidel is dying or something and his brother and a team will rule Cuba next. My bros and I were watching the news and they were showing how the news of Fidel's ailing health led to an impromptu celebration in Miami, I turned to my bro and said "Yeah that's 'cause they're all the criminals he deported here." And my friend chuckled and said "Fidel put me in jail for killing my family, I hate communism!" Fidel's brother was his right hand man and is described as "ruthless," yes American news corp (that's corp not corporation)this is great news, now we've got Vlad part II in Cuba, fun, fun, fun.

Oh number of people sleeping in my house last night: 8