Topic: TV Show intros

Sometimes a show is so complete that even its title sequence works with the rest of the piece, for example Lost's sequence is genius; a white word on black comes at you, out of focus. It comes into focus and reveals itself to be 'Lost' but only for a brief moment before it is too close to be read and out of focus again. Brilliant--that's the show in a nutshell.

However some shows just have deplorable credit rolls int he front that are just worthless and as you continue watching the show become more and more aggravating. But before we get into a list let's talk about a related issue.

Attention Premium Channel shows: Cut it the fuck out with the Production Design on PCP with the credit sequences. When Premium channel shows got popular enough that the mouth breathers started to stop watching Friends and start checking out what HBO and like had to say one of the things they saw were cool credits int he beginning that were animated real well. Six Feet Under, Carnival, et al. They had break animation and cool music and were so different from the stuff the networks did. However then it seemed to be a rule that every show put out on cable had to have a 15 minute long title sequence. It got to the point that I just fast forwarded most of them (thank you On demand). I remember the show where this first really started bothering me: Huff.
Huff's sequence seemed forced; it had nothing to do with anything; and it broke the cardinal rule of good content: it was visual for visual sake. This should have tipped me off on the show which I sort of like until the back section of the first season where this show was jsut trying to see how obnoxiously depressing they could get (Rescue Me did this too, and it was just fucking dumb--oh let's see which kid of Leary's we can kill this season! Fuck you).
Enough man we know that you can use computers to make stuff look cool--but that's not the point. The point is to boost the content.

Now let's talk about some terrible sequences. First on my mind is the L Word, the show once had a nice minimalist sequence where various L words were displayed and then BANG!
TITLE
CREATED BY
SHOW
Then it changed its sequence --around the same time the show turned to shit.
Now its this stupid drop frame thing of the various characters doing various rich lady shit, like go to galleries and swim in your pools. All to just the worse fucking band ever. I know you're suppose to be a show by lesbians for lesbians about lesbians--but fuck this dyke rock band is just sucking my soul out. Just the most grooveless take on 60s pop (i guess) song by your music teacher. I mean she can sing but like i don't want to listen to her. You know who I'm talking about right? Like they can physically sing but they have no hook to their voice that makes you want to hear them sing. It's just an aural abortion over the dumbest attempt at grabbing someone's attention. Sort of like the show.

The 4400. This show seemed interesting and then I realized it wasn't. The show's pilot was great because they had a very minimal shot of the earth with the title over it. GREAT. But as soon as they got picked up they made it this whole long, convoluted thing that has nothing to do with the show and just forces me to not pay attention to the screen. Again the song is just dumb. It doesn't keep with the rest of the program in anyway. I mean a show like this should just have a score, something epic and eerie--like the show. The whole thing has a score and a look and then during the opening credits they play adult contemporary? Really?

Enterprise. Star Trek has a long history of having iconic opening credits. Then with Enterprise they said to themselves, "OK let's make a cool visual sequence showing the various enterprises over history and into the time period of our show. Should we use music that alludes to the other Star Trek shows (like everyone's done). No, fuck that noise; I want shitty soft rock song by some cracker who does the music for mortgage brokerage commercials. Yeah no one will be offended by this. AND NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR IT EITHER, that's probably why your shit was canceled, that and you were on the UPN.

Firefly. Ok I'm a fan of the show so don't throw stones at me. This sow is flawless except for the pening credits. I know its suppose to be a Western/Sci-fi show,a nd that joss whedon wrote the song and the guy who sang is supposed to be someone rad--but that shit is gay as hell. Just because you can write a great script doesn't mean you k now who to write a song that doesn't make me want to puke blood until it's over. I've atched this show countless times, but I can tell you exaclty how many times I watched the title sequence: Twice. The first time I watched it and when an episode was shown in class. Every other time, skipped so furiously the remote was shattered into subatomic particles thus momentarily throwing quantum physics through a loop. Fuck this is terrible, got my blah and shoody doo...fucking stop its embarassing. What doesn't make sense to me was that the score was so full of emotion that scenes of battle where we were in space an thus had no sound, almsot broguht a tear to my eye. And yet they went with THAT FUCKING SONG. No wonder why you got cancelled, if all I knew about the show was what Fox told me (i.e. nothing) and I heard that diddy I'd change the channel faster than you can say shiny.

I'm starting to drool a bit so I need to compose my self and wrap it up.

In conclusion: Lost-->good; Torchwood-->good. L word-->bad.

Sometimes not overstating yourself is a good thing, oh wait thats all the time.