I guess an interrogation with a Natural Light Lamp is just not the same
Here's the deal, if you post comments on these entries and say that
"I'm a genius," "Hysterical," or whatever atleast 5 or 6 times, you get a plug on this site.
El Charulastra won my heart, and bought himself a link. That means just from massaging my ego he gets a .00000000873% growth in readership on his blog. These are the kind of numbers I can give you people.
Speaking of video games freezing on you just when you've done the imposible. I was playing ESPN's Baseball 2k5 or whatever the fuck it's called and I hit two, count 'em, TWO, grand slams with none other than the batmaster himself, David Ortiz in the WORLD SERIES and the fucking game froze, not after the first grand slam, not the second--BUT AS SOON AS I WON THE FUCKING GAME. KRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRUUUUUUUULLLLLLLLLLLGGGGGGGGGGGHHHH!!!!!!! It makes me want to slaughter the fuckin nerdy Asians who create this game and have a fever dream of masturbating on their corpses and watching even numbered episodes of Ellen Degeneres' sitcom.
Now some of you may be saying to yourselves,"It's just a game chum, what's the deal." FUCK YOU, YOU SWEATER-ON-SHOULDER-WEARING POLE SMOKER. I recently realized that I have an anger problem, not with things like traffic or relationships or money, or alcoholism--but only when it comes to video games. Just ask Bwana about how Madden '98 made me put my foot and fist throw my wall--and no not one of those pussy dry walls, I'm talking a wall that's insulated--one that keeps you from the outside. Then I fixed the fucker and it seems that Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas and 2kflagrant foul enducing faggol 5 are making me slowly crack it. The other day I smashed my fist in a fit of rage into a nubile, virile, virgin of territory of said wall and realized I was fractions of an inch from putting it into a nail. I told Brigitte this that day and she gave me one of those looks, FUCKING CHICK YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, WHO HITS A HOMER RUN OFF A CHANGEUP AROUND THE KNEES--WHO THE FUCK IS ERGAY FURCAL?!
In other news I was sent the wrong DVD, by some thrid party cat on Amazon,"Ultimate Edition Stargate" DVD but merely recieved the original DVD release with nada for Special Features.
However I did receive my copy of "Cannibal Women of the Avocado Jungle of Death," which is honestly one of the best satirical comedies of all time. I'M DEAD FUCKING SERIOUS. Buy it off some knucklehead for $3.47 it's totally worth every secondd an there's sweet bewbs in the beginning.
"I'm a genius," "Hysterical," or whatever atleast 5 or 6 times, you get a plug on this site.
El Charulastra won my heart, and bought himself a link. That means just from massaging my ego he gets a .00000000873% growth in readership on his blog. These are the kind of numbers I can give you people.
Speaking of video games freezing on you just when you've done the imposible. I was playing ESPN's Baseball 2k5 or whatever the fuck it's called and I hit two, count 'em, TWO, grand slams with none other than the batmaster himself, David Ortiz in the WORLD SERIES and the fucking game froze, not after the first grand slam, not the second--BUT AS SOON AS I WON THE FUCKING GAME. KRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRUUUUUUUULLLLLLLLLLLGGGGGGGGGGGHHHH!!!!!!! It makes me want to slaughter the fuckin nerdy Asians who create this game and have a fever dream of masturbating on their corpses and watching even numbered episodes of Ellen Degeneres' sitcom.
Now some of you may be saying to yourselves,"It's just a game chum, what's the deal." FUCK YOU, YOU SWEATER-ON-SHOULDER-WEARING POLE SMOKER. I recently realized that I have an anger problem, not with things like traffic or relationships or money, or alcoholism--but only when it comes to video games. Just ask Bwana about how Madden '98 made me put my foot and fist throw my wall--and no not one of those pussy dry walls, I'm talking a wall that's insulated--one that keeps you from the outside. Then I fixed the fucker and it seems that Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas and 2kflagrant foul enducing faggol 5 are making me slowly crack it. The other day I smashed my fist in a fit of rage into a nubile, virile, virgin of territory of said wall and realized I was fractions of an inch from putting it into a nail. I told Brigitte this that day and she gave me one of those looks, FUCKING CHICK YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, WHO HITS A HOMER RUN OFF A CHANGEUP AROUND THE KNEES--WHO THE FUCK IS ERGAY FURCAL?!
In other news I was sent the wrong DVD, by some thrid party cat on Amazon,"Ultimate Edition Stargate" DVD but merely recieved the original DVD release with nada for Special Features.
However I did receive my copy of "Cannibal Women of the Avocado Jungle of Death," which is honestly one of the best satirical comedies of all time. I'M DEAD FUCKING SERIOUS. Buy it off some knucklehead for $3.47 it's totally worth every secondd an there's sweet bewbs in the beginning.
posted by ESN-TNS at 11:39 PM
2 Comments:
hey, i ain't fucking massagin' nothin' unless it's my own organ.
p.s. none, read again: NONE of your "favorite" links work. ye lying bastid. where my props at?
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